In Search of the Authentic You
by Tamar Groeneveld
27th March 2019
At the Oracle of Delphi in Greece, which was consulted about important decisions throughout the ancient classical world, there is a famous instruction:
But how many of us really do know ourselves? And how do we know we know?
Well, before you can know who you are, you need to understand who you’re not. This is fundamental to understanding who you are.
Contrary to what you might think, you are not the sum of your box set of past learnings – all that information you learned as a child, reinforced bysubsequent experiences and the influences around you. That is a collection of received wisdom; it’s what you’ve learned from other people, what you’vetaken on as true if you like, all from other people. It’s not yours originally.
As a child you were programmed. You were programmed by the influences and people around you, and those programmes in your mind have become your autopilot function, which guides you through life, allowing you to function without having to assess each and every situation you come across, as if it was a first time experience. And because you’re mainly operating from your autopilot function, you don’t recognise that those past learnings are learned behavior and, if you were to stop and think about it, possibly not what you think or want to do at all.
Now, some of these behaviours are really useful by the way. You don’t want to get rid of them all. But some of them are really harmful. And those are the ones that we want to start examining and reprogramming.
For example, people often think they’renot good enough, in some way. This is the root of all self-sabotage. This might come out as “I’m really stupid”, or “I never seem to find the time for anything”, or “I’m way too fat”or“I’m not attractive”.All of those expressions stem from the root idea that in some way or another they don’t feel good enough.
But the thought that you’re not good enough doesn’t come from your authentic self. It comes from your box set of past learnings set on “repeat”.That belief system is not solid truth, even though you might feel that it is absolutely true, and itfeelstrue to you. But it’snot. Let me explain why…
If you were to look at an event in the past – say, for example, you and your sibling shared a past experience together – you mighteach have a completely different memory of what happened at that time. Now, it might not be completely different, but it will definitely be at least slightly different. And that difference proves that your memory of the past is simply one versionof the truth. There are myriad different truths; your version is dependent on your perception at the time, and that perception comes from your past programming. This is a really important point to underline.
So, if you’re not your past programming, if that’s not your authentic self, then who areyou?
Your authenticself lies within the internal space – beyond, behind or in between the chatter that comes from your box set of past programmings. It’s everywhere the chatter isn’t.Because we get stuck onautopilot, locked into our programming, we don’t spend much time in that space, or we find it difficult to access that space because we find it difficult to escape the chatter.
When a child is in the early stages of life, it never ever questions whether it’s good enough. For example, before they can walk, first they have to turn over, then they have to be able to get up. Then they’re on their hands and knees, and then they learn how to crawl. From crawling they learn how to stand, and from standing then they start to learn how to let go of everything around them and take their first steps. This is an extraordinarily hard process. And it takes months –six months, eight months, a year. It takes a long, long time.
They never once question whether they’re good enough to do that. Not once. And this is my whole point, because when you’re that young, you have all this inner space, you’re receptive to learning. Most the time it’s just fun, play if you like, not hard work. And it’s this openness, this space with no negative programming, no programming much at all, that enables them the creativity to find the solutions they need to get from rolling over to the point of walking.
That is what we want to get back to –being able to live in this space free from the chatter that tells you you’re not good enough. Once you realise this, you can learn how to switch the chatter off, and spend time with that internal part of you. You start to uncover insight– new ways of looking at things, your own ways of understanding and finding new answers – just like learning to walk. And this insight comes from your authentic self.
Spending time in this inner space restores balance. It gives you inspiration, it gives you feelings of completeness, it relaxes you, it rejuvenates you. It gives you access to pain relief, healing, and a deep sense of self. It helps you realise who you really are.
By accessing your internal space you find your authentic, unlimited self because you now have access to insight beyond what you already knew from your past learnings. You become your very own Oracle of Delphi. You become the real answer to whatever your questions might be.
Tamar Groeneveld is co-founder of Quantum Potential – a unique, holistic and personalised approach to body and mind, combining deeply relaxing and meditative yoga sessions with mental techniques to help you develop greater self awareness, see things from a different perspective, free yourself from limiting behaviours and awaken potential you knew you had but didn’t quite know how to unlock.
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